Doordash Your Slop Bowl Get Extra Guac Create Shareholder Value Shirt

The ultimate uniform for the modern office drone.

Embrace the absurdity of the hustle with this bold, text-based sweatshirt. This design perfectly chronicles the daily ritual of the high-stakes professional: from the overpriced DoorDashed lunch to the inevitable Klarna default—all in the noble name of "Creating Shareholder Value." It’s a cynical, hilarious tribute to the desk-bound life we all know too well.

Wear it to your next "optional" team-building event or as a subtle protest during your next marathon Zoom call.

The Daily Ritual:

• The Lunch: "Doordash your slop bowl. Get extra guac."
• The Finance: "Pay for it with Klarna. Default on the loan."
• The Grind: "Never stop looking at your screen. Create shareholder value."